How (Not?) To Talk About Dreams

Example 1: On a phone date.

Jake Harper, on cell phone: Really? I dreamed about you too! What was your dream?
...
Jake: We were on the train in a tunnel? Sounds kind of boring.
...
Jake: It means What?
...
(Alan Harper enters)
...
Jake: No Way!
...
Jake: I'm confused. If I'm In the train how can I BE the train?
...
Alan: At least he's not the tunnel.

from Two And A Half Men, Chuck Lorre Productions #185

Example 2: Among Friends

Ted Mosby: I had this crazy dream -
Narrator: I then proceeded to waste thirty minutes of these b*st*rds' lives telling them my dream of eating dinner with the top five architects throughout history.

paraphrased from How I Met Your Mother "The Three Days Rule"

To Dismiss a Dream: Boston Legal

Often-institutionalized Law Partner Edwin Poole, while neglecting to wear pants: "He came to me in a dream last night and told me to try his case."

Being "sent by" a dream doesn't carry a lot of credibility, does it?

In fact, in many circles, taking dreams with any degree of seriousness is indicative of soft-headedness, or even instability.

It is a pity that dreams are dismissed like this.

Being compelled by dreams is one thing, but looking at dreams with curiosity and interest is another.

And as for dreams as opportunities to "think different" -
by changing points of view,
looking at the world through the "scary monster's" eyes,
inhabiting "the box" and being outside it at the same time, and
pulling together ideas that, on the surface, don't connect -

well, that would be a very, very sad thing to dismiss.

Ch-ch-ch-changes (turn and face the --

When a recurring dream changes in some way, oftentimes waking life is too. The changes can happen at the same time, or a change in one can come before the change in the other - and sometimes it's the dream first.

Example: I dream frequently of my grandmother's town in Eastern Nebraska (< 500 people). Usually I'm headed to the "left" side of town to amble around "recently developed University" grounds and shops. In a new dream, the action is on the "right" - where, all of a sudden, there were shipping lanes and train tracks and an airport terminal with a Fedex plane at a gate.

From the dream, it looks like changes are afoot and it looks like they're happening fast. But it's unclear where the change is headed (many means of transport - no suggestion of destination).

In waking life, a lot is happening - but no final outcome is clear. I'm considering an MBA and am taking steps to make that possible (GMAT). It was actually this dream - the shift from the "left" to the "right," and change in speed from ambling to rushing, that inspired me to sign up for the exam. Well, to be honest, "inspired" isn't exactly the word - it was more "oh what the heck, I might as well try this while things are cooking."

"Strange fascination, fascinating me/
Ah changes are taking the pace Im going through"
David Bowie; Hunky Dory, 1971

Just a Dream

One of the books I enjoyed recently is The Place You Love Is Gone, so much so that I keep up with the author's blog. She recently posted thoughts on watching the The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T, and concluded with "Was it all just a dream?"

"Just a dream" is what is often said to dispel the charge of a nightmare.

"Just a dream" is a dismissing statement.

"Just a dream" is a narrowing statement.

What if "Just a dream" was replaced with some (concise) variant of "Oh, a dream. It scared the bejeebers out of me. Wonder what is going on in my life that made This dream occur Now."

Etiquette of Dream-Sharing Tip #4

#1, #2, and #3 are here.

Do not try to pick someone up by saying you dreamed about him/her. That is sure to end badly.

...especially if either of the following are true:

(1) you announce that you dreamed of your betrothal to, and subsequent platinum wedding with, your quarry, or

(2) you relate a dream like the one Big Bang Theory's Howard Wolowitz conjured up in his attempts to woo Summer Glau ... something about ice skating, twirling, and legs falling off. Ew.